Updated: Aug 7
What are love languages?
We have different feelings to the way we express and like to receive all types of love, everyone thinks differently and if not correctly communicated and understood love can get lost in translation between partners who may speak two different love languages. As well as between partners, love languages can be used to strengthen relationships with your children, roommates, parents or friends. The five main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Everyone feels one of these love languages more than the others, this becomes the primary love language and the rest fall into place.
Words of Affirmation
If you or the person you care about like words of affirmation, its important you express how much you love them regularly. Being genuine with words is of real importance to those that place words of affirmation highly and they care more about the meaning and intentions behind the words you are saying. You should encourage, appreciate and use active listening skills to communicate well. Something that wont go unnoticed is if you leave a note or send a special text when they arent expecting it to really make them smile. One thing to avoid is not recognising or appreciating another’s efforts.
For this love language, its not just about the amount of time spent together it is the quality of the time, meaning your loved one loves nothing more than your undivided attention. We all learnt new ways to spend quality time together over the COVID-19 pandemic using technology. However, an old-fashioned walk in the park or spending time doing something they love together is still one of the best ways to spend quality time with the one you love. One thing to avoid is having distractions or interruptions whilst spending one or one time together.
Acts of Service
Acts of Service means doing something for someone to make their life easier out of the kindness of your own heart, this one shouts actions speak louder than words. You could show you care by communicating that you want to help lighten their load and sticking to this, there’s nothing worse than saying your going to do something and then not following through. Why don’t you try getting up with them one morning and making them breakfast or help with more chores and see how your partner reacts?
This one is pretty simple, you feel loved and valued when someone gives you more of a visual symbol of love in the form of gifts. The monetary value does not compare to the symbolic value it has to an individual, for example, it could be picking up your partner’s favourite drink whilst out at the supermarket, or bringing the family a gift home from travelling. Gift-giving may seem simple but it makes your partner a priority and makes them feel special. It is important to never forget special occasions no matter how small they may seem to you and to also be enthusiastic on received gifts yourself.
Expressing your love physically can be as simple as giving a friend a high five or giving your children a consoling hug. People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, and cuddling on the couch. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language.